Maybe if she’d given me this i-dog Plush Puppy speaker, I wouldn’t have been so upset. It’s cute and cuddly and will play music from an ipod, CD player, or most any music source. The sound isn’t fantastic, but it’s decent enough for a kid’s room.

I bought this for my 7-year-old niece for Chanukah. I hope it’ll be a nice accessory for her new ipod. And if not, I’ll take it. It’ll go well with the dozens of other stuffed dogs I have, floating on a river of tears and resentment.

i-dog Soft Speaker, $14.99 at Target stores and Target.com.

Imagine it’s Christmas Eve, and you’re on your way to a big family dinner, but you’ve been too busy to buy presents because you’re a neurobiologist at Columbia and you’ve been studying proton transfers in the frontal lobe all week. (OK, so maybe there was a little too much back story.) You have an hour to shop. Go. (To kill two birds with one stone, I’ve selected items that are also available on Amazon.com, where you can order through today and still use free super-saver shipping to get your items by December 24.)

1. For Mom, Sis, Cousin Barbara, Unnamed woman with parched hands. . . pamper ‘em all with items from Burt’s Bees — this particular hand care set includes lemon-butter cuticle cream, almond-milk beeswax hand cream, a pair of restorative treatment gloves and a mini-book about hand care. Bees not included, which is good, ’cause, you know, they sting, and honey is sticky, and live bees just don’t make good gifts. ($8.95)

2. For Dad, Aunt Carol, that dude who always has corn in his teeth. . . the Oral B Triumph 9900 Toothbrush with Smart Guide (SRP: $149.99 Amazon:$104.99). This toothbrush eats other toothbrushes for dinner–then brushes its teeth with itself. If Dale Earnhardt Jr. drove a toothbrush instead of a race car, he’d be driving this toothbrush. We’re talking 40,000 in-and-out pulsations a minute. A remote display that shows you how long to brush in each quadrant of your mouth. A sensor to tell you when you’re brushing too hard. And you thought it couldn’t get any better than mint-flavored floss.

3. For anyone who ever gets cold: college students, parents, siblings, grand uncles, misplaced warm-weather penguins. . . Meet the plush throw blanket, my friends. As ubiquitous as it is useful–who doesn’t want an extra blankie to cuddle up with on the couch? Target has them. So does KMart, Kohl’s, Walmart, Macy’s, Bed Bath and Beyond, and just about every other store. In fact, if Gimbel’s hadn’t gone out of business in 1987, they’d be world renowned for their plush throw blankets. I love my Pinzon Microtec Throw from Amazon ($9.99). But you can’t have it. Buy your own!

4. For the young ones, consider some board games. Now, at first they’ll be confused and try to stuff those little Monopoly houses into their Wii consoles. And don’t be surprised if a 3-year-old loses at Chutes and Ladders and calls it an “epic fail.” But nonetheless, this is a great time to introduce your kids (or someone else’s) to games that require no batteries, chargers, or fake guitars, and that can be played over and over again. Games like Cranium Cadoo ($9.99) encourage friendly competition and creative play.

So I’m finally at the register, ready to buy my generic cough medicine and what is now $4,000 worth of gifts for my imaginary neurobiologist to give her imaginary family. One thing that’s not imaginary: The clock. It’s ticking–one week of shopping left!

Audra writes. . .
I need a Xmas gift idea for my sister. She is 31 years old and the mother of a two-year old. She lives on her own with the baby, loves to clean, loves to have great hair, and likes jewelry/earrings, shoes, pocketbooks, etc. Very girly-girl.

After an e-mail exchange with Audra, I learned that her sister truly does love cleaning. (When can she come over and clean this cesspool I call home, I wonder?) I suggested buying Sis this Dirt Devil Kone Cordless Hand Vacuum ($27.97 at Amazon). It’s almost like a Transformer, only instead of transforming from Shia Labeouf’s car into a warrior robot, it transforms from a stylish work of art into a handy hand vac.

Pair the Kone with some Lavender Home Perfume from L’OCCITANE ($23). Because what good is a clean home without the calming aroma of lavender and vanilla?

2. Sock Monkey Slippers ($14.99, Target)

3. Gift Box of 10 Sock Monkey Cards ($25 at Etsy)
Choose from the SockMonkeyCards store’s numerous designs. (If the gift box isn’t available, contact the seller–they will likely relist it for you.)

4. Sock Monkey Dreams: Daily Life at the Red Heel Monkey Shelter ($10.17, Amazon)
Humorous account of the life and times of various sock monkey characters

5. Original Sock Monkey Toy ($14.99 at ThinkGeek)

Be sure to check out the rest of our Gift Lists.

2. Star Trek Interactive Tribble, $19.99

3. Santa Dreidel, $4.95

4. Chumps Mini Series Art Toys, $7.95

5. Zombie Haiku book by Ryan Mecum, $9.99 (No, really. It’s an entire zombie story told in Haiku form.)

What’s that urban legend about never smiling at a crocodile? Pure rubbish. Take this crocodile, for example. How can you look at this lil’ guy (his official name is “Kojo” but I call him “Sven”) and not put on a happy face?

Kojo makes the perfect reptilian companion, with a super-squishy head you can’t help but hug. A few rips of the velcro, and Kojo spreads out to reveal himself as the pillow he was always meant to be. Break him open, and inside you’ll find the severed hand of a pirate and a ticking clock. . . no, that’s wrong. You’ll find a soft, detachable blankie.

Perfect for the car, a trip to Grandma’s, planes, trains, RVs, blimps, etc.

As for smiling at real crocodiles? Perfectly safe. Swimming in a croc-infested lake with a raw chicken tied around your neck? Um, I wouldn’t.

Also available: panda, wildebeest (no kidding!), giraffe, and many more.

$34 ($25 for smaller “baby” Zoobies). Visit the official Zoobies Web site for store locations or to order.

And. . . and. . . we’re giving one away! Leave a comment for your chance to win a member of the Zoobie menagerie, courtesy of the Zoobie keepers themselves.

Hi there! I just found your site today while I was scouring the web for a baby shower gift for my boss, who is also a good friend. She is going to have a little boy in December. We are both pretty crafty, but I just had a baby and don’t have time to make something spectacular. They are going with a surf theme in the nursery. Any thoughts? My first thought was to turn to etsy, but I don’t even know what to look for! Love your site and thanks so much!

Hi, Abi! What a great idea for a nursery–you don’t see too many surfing-themed baby rooms.

Maybe I’m a pessimist, but when I heard “surfing,” I immediately thought, “shark.” Well, to be honest, I thought, “Don Ho Memorial Tiki Bar,” but that might not be appropriate for a nursery.

So, back to shark. This big guy from Melissa and Doug is a 40-incher just waiting to prey on your affections. For now, he’ll be an interesting conversation piece for visitors. Eventually, he’ll be a giant cuddle monster. And is there anything more American than a boy and his shark? ($29.99 + free shipping on Amazon.com)

Next up, the Surfboard Growth Chart from Ecotots. Not only will the board make a gnarly addition to the room, but its two stripes are left unvarnished–perfect for marking baby’s height as he grows from little squirt to big Kahuna. Available in four colors. ($69.99 + shipping at Oompa)

And to set the mood, there’s the Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of the Beach Boys. ($13.99 and free shipping eligible, Amazon.com)

Now, because you brought up ETSY, I wanted to mention a facet of the site I didn’t talk about in my ETSY love-post. Etsy offers an “Alchemy” board. Shoppers can post requests for what they want made, along with what they’d like to pay, and artists can “bid” on the job. So if you decide that a handmade ukulele-and-pineapple mobile is the way to go, chances are you’ll find someone willing to make it.

Happy baby!