Sesame Street Old School, Volume 2, $26.99. Picture it: 1974-79. Mr. Hooper is still alive. Elmo has yet to be formed out of a devilish blaze of red felt. Richard Pryor reinterprets the alphabet. And Fonzie and Richie Cunningham brush their teeth.

Looking for a gift for your favorite college kid? How about a Darts! Calendar with magnetic darts and 12 different boards (one for each month, see?).

Jones Soda in holiday flavors: Candy Cane, Pear Tree, and Mele Kalikimaka. (In keeping with the Hawaiian Christmas greeting for which it was named, the soda has a pineapple/coconut taste.)

Not available this year: Turkey and Gravy. No, seriously, that used to be one of their flavors. Of SODA.

For your favorite baker, how about a Nordicware Mini Holiday Loaf Pan or a Culinary Torch? Or try these Kitchen Pals Silicone Oven Mitts. I like to stalk my cupcakes with the shark. I even whistle the JAWS theme song while I’m pulling scones out of the oven.

(I’m just kidding, silly. I don’t know how to make scones.)

Take two Irish coffee mugs (These are $2.95 each at Crate and Barrel, but you can find them just about anywhere. . . except, like, gas stations.)

Add two irresistibly silly Teddy Bear Slipper Coasters.

And some gourmet cocoa or a pound of coffee, and you’re good to go.

It’s minty water.

It’s like taking a swig of water while you’re chewing minty gum, and you accidentally swallow the gum but it’s OK because you have this amazingly refreshing minty/watery taste in your mouth. Only it’s better, because you don’t swallow a soggy piece of gum. And it makes you think of Chris Noth and how hot he looks when he chews gum on Law and Order and how his breath probably tastes of mint and tobacco.

It’s 1 a.m. and I’m not the least bit tired. Weird, since no one gifted me with this Caffeine Candy Sampler 8.0, which includes enough gum, mints, and candy to carry you through a serious all-nighter. I guess my zeal for the channel 11 “Honeymooners Viewers Choice” hour is reason enough for me to be awake.