Present Professor » for her

Mo’ Bacon, Mo’ Fun

carli — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:55:14 +0000

It started with Mo’s Bacon Bar–part novelty item, part inspired marriage between sweet milk chocolate and salty bacon. It’s not an everyday snack, but it’s got a curious breakfast-esque quality about it. That, and it’s so indulgent, I get a little thrill from the eating it, like I’m breaking some draconian food law.

Vosges chocolate was at the forefront of the ongoing (and wonderful) bacon renaissance, and they continue to innovate. This year, there’s bacon chocolate chip mix ($12), bacon caramel toffee (also $12), a flying chocolate pig ($8), and a $62 gift set. Original Mo’s Bacon Bars, in milk and dark chocolate, are $7.50. Mini bars are available for $2.50. Mix and match 6 bars for $12.50. Stack ‘em, wrap ‘em in a ribbon, and give them to your foodie friend. Sweet.

There Will Be Blood

carli — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:51:54 +0000

Do it yourself blood-typing test kit.

Just add blood.

Yes, really.

$8.99 at Think Geek.

I-Dog. You Human. But We Can Be Friends, K?

carli — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:15:55 +0000

When I was a kid, I wanted a dog. . . like, really badly. My mother saw this and decided to pretend she was allergic to dogs until I was 18. She also bought me a plush dog every birthday, which I guess was supposed to make me feel better but was really just, like, “Here, little Present Professor. Let me pour a little hydrochloric acid into your paper cut.”

Maybe if she’d given me this i-dog Plush Puppy speaker, I wouldn’t have been so upset. It’s cute and cuddly and will play music from an ipod, CD player, or most any music source. The sound isn’t fantastic, but it’s decent enough for a kid’s room.

I bought this for my 7-year-old niece for Chanukah. I hope it’ll be a nice accessory for her new ipod. And if not, I’ll take it. It’ll go well with the dozens of other stuffed dogs I have, floating on a river of tears and resentment.

i-dog Soft Speaker, $14.99 at Target stores and Target.com.

Just Don’t Tell Him You’re Making Ham

carli — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:04:01 +0000

Because, you know, he may want some.

Cooks Corner Silicone Pig Pot Holder, $5.26 at Amazon. (Other animals $9.99)

EDIT: The pig is currently out of stock, but the cow is available for the same price. Moo.

I Savor Little Prayer For You

carli — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:52:43 +0000

Last year, when I was looking for items to feature on Present Professor, I came across an Etsy seller named Lisa who makes fabulous handmade soaps and puts spells on people where they want to keep buying the soap to the point that if someone handed them a bar of Zest or Irish Spring they would probably cry and then continue to cry.

Since then, Savor has been one of my go-to places for gifts. My sister and mother love her unique créme fraîche–whipped soaps that will make you want to disown body wash forever– while I’m partial to the bars. Lisa draws much of her inspiration from food, and with scents such as a chocolate peanut butter cappuccino bar, blueberry boy bait, and tamarind marmalade, you won’t know whether to wash up or chow down. No, that’s silly. You’ll know, because soap and food are two different things and you’re not stupid.

Soaps, body butter, and body mist from $4.25-$12.50 at Savor. Take advantage of flat-rate shipping and stock up for the holidays—Lisa’s soaps are great little gifts for friends, relatives, co-workers, teachers, and people who smell.

Miss Measure

carli — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:46:07 +0000

Measuring cups posing as nesting dolls? It’s just like identical cousins. Wait, it’s nothing like identical cousins. In fact, I’m not really sure identical cousins is possible. No, I’m pretty sure it can’t happen. But you know what can happen? You, making tasty cupcakes, with adorable measuring cups who will hold your flour and sugar and become your anthropomorphic best friends.

Bubby’s Matryoshkas Measuring Cups, $14.99 at ModCloth.com

‘Night, Monster

carli — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:11:05 +0000

Remember that dream your friend had where she was stuck in an elevator on the 85th floor of the Sears Tower with a chihuahua that had Corey Feldman’s head and the song Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows played over and over again?

Remember how annoyed you were to have to listen to this person talk and talk and talk and then have that horrible, horrible song stuck in your head? Next time, give that friend the Nightmare Snatcher Journal by Spiderbite, where she can write down all her worst night frights in the pages of a fuzzy notebook with eyes and a mouth.

You might also want to give her the name of a good psychotherapist. ‘Cause anyone who dreams about Corey Feldman is probably in a very dark place.

From $25, on Etsy.com

My Name is Liesl. I’m 16 Years Old and I Don’t Need a Governess

carli — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 02:43:02 +0000

Uh, no. You’re a stuffed goat, you sing “The Lonely Goatherd,” and proceeds from your sale benefit Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids. And you cost $30. And. . . and. . . you’re fabulous.

Eight Days of Light Emitting Diodes

carli — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 02:37:57 +0000

Recycled LED Motherboard Menorah, $19.99 at Perpetual Kid

Heart of Rock ‘N Roll

carli — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:57:34 +0000

The difference between a dozen roses and a cookie bouquet? Both are edible, I suppose, but only one is as sweet as your sweetheart.

Prices vary based on number of cookies; $51.99 as pictured. Prices range from $7.25 (one cookie) to $88.99 (12 cookies)