Imagine it’s Christmas Eve, and you’re on your way to a big family dinner, but you’ve been too busy to buy presents because you’re a neurobiologist at Columbia and you’ve been studying proton transfers in the frontal lobe all week. (OK, so maybe there was a little too much back story.) You have an hour to shop. Go. (To kill two birds with one stone, I’ve selected items that are also available on Amazon.com, where you can order through today and still use free super-saver shipping to get your items by December 24.)

Dear Present Professor,
We have a tradition in our family that we give to charity as a “main” gift, then we exchange small gifts for fun on Christmas Day. We’re looking for a new idea this year. Any suggestions?

Kids and kids-at-heart love to play with building toys. Check out Magnext, LEGO, Fantasy Blocks, Tinkertoys and Eames House of Cards.

Let’s face it, people. Most of us are slobs. Muffin-loving slobs. Muffin-loving, Internet-surfing slobs. Now, give your muffin-loving slobby friend a USB keyboard vac. You plug it directly into your laptop, making it portable, practical, and perfect for stuffing into stockings. And also, for removing stuffing from in between the keys on your keyboard.

Our favorite books for pre-readers. Check out Stuff on My Cats Presents: Cats A to Z, cats paired with a different item, one for each letter of the alphabet. Because cats really, really love having their pictures taken, especially if you dress them in a sweater first.

Remember when Mrs. Brady lost her voice and Cindy asked Santa Claus to cure her in time to sing at Church on Christmas? Remember when Ralph Kramden sold his bowling ball to pay for a gift for Alice? When Alex P. Keaton endures his own Scrooge-esque nightmare, sitcom-style?

No, you don’t remember? Well, maybe you know someone who does. And that someone would probably enjoy the Holiday Treats DVD.

For Christmas this year, I’m giving Henry Quackers Natural Duck Dog Treats. Essentially turkey jerky for dogs, Quackers are a unique, healthful gift option for dogs–and not just the ones who live on raw meat. They’re also made from breast of duck and nothing else. So unlike dinner with your mooching best friend, you won’t be stuck with the bill.