Imagine it’s Christmas Eve, and you’re on your way to a big family dinner, but you’ve been too busy to buy presents because you’re a neurobiologist at Columbia and you’ve been studying proton transfers in the frontal lobe all week. (OK, so maybe there was a little too much back story.) You have an hour to shop. Go. (To kill two birds with one stone, I’ve selected items that are also available on Amazon.com, where you can order through today and still use free super-saver shipping to get your items by December 24.)

A teacher can only have so many shower gels, desk calendars and coffee mugs. And any teacher will tell you that apple-shaped gifts should be outlawed. Why not donate to a charity you think the teacher would appreciate, or donate books or software to the classroom in the teacher’s name. Gift cards are also a popular choice, but add a personal touch. Pair a bookstore gift card with a bookmark handmade by your child.

Have a neat freak on your gift list? Check out the Dirt Devil Kone Cordless Hand Vacuum ($27.97 at Amazon). It’s almost like a Transformer, only instead of transforming from Shia Labeouf’s car into a warrior robot, it transforms from a stylish work of art into a handy hand vac.

Sock Monkey 2009 Wall Calendar, Sock Monkey Slippers, Gift Box of 10 Sock Monkey Cards . . . And more for the sock monkey fan in all of us.

Puzzle Cube Alarm Clock ($19.99, Think Geek)

They have to call it “puzzle cube” instead of “Rubik’s cube” because of copyright issues. Kind of like when you buy generic cough syrup, and it’s just called “Tussin.”

What to get for the parents that have everything – or buy it the instant they sense they might want it? Tiny bonsai tree? Scone sampler and coffee? Coffee table book or a book starring you?

Dear Present Professor,
We have a tradition in our family that we give to charity as a “main” gift, then we exchange small gifts for fun on Christmas Day. We’re looking for a new idea this year. Any suggestions?