Because, you know, he may want some.

Cooks Corner Silicone Pig Pot Holder, $5.26 at Amazon.  (Other animals $9.99)

EDIT: The pig is currently out of stock, but the cow is available for the same price. Moo.

Last year, when I was looking for items to feature on Present Professor, I came across an Etsy seller named Lisa who makes fabulous handmade soaps and puts spells on people where they want to keep buying the soap to the point that if someone handed them a bar of Zest or Irish Spring they would probably cry and then continue to cry.

Since then, Savor has been one of my go-to places for gifts. My sister and mother love her unique créme fraîche–whipped soaps that will make you want to disown body wash forever– while I’m partial to the  bars. Lisa draws much of her inspiration from food, and with scents such as a chocolate peanut butter cappuccino bar, blueberry boy bait, and tamarind marmalade, you won’t know whether to wash up or chow down. No, that’s silly. You’ll know, because soap and food are two different things and you’re not stupid.

Soaps, body butter, and body mist from $4.25-$12.50 at Savor. Take advantage of flat-rate shipping and stock up for the holidays—Lisa’s soaps are great little gifts for friends, relatives, co-workers, teachers, and people who smell.

Measuring cups posing as nesting dolls? It’s just like identical cousins. Wait, it’s nothing like identical cousins. In fact, I’m not really sure identical cousins is possible. No, I’m pretty sure it can’t happen. But you know what can happen? You, making tasty cupcakes, with adorable measuring cups who will hold your flour and sugar and become your anthropomorphic best friends.

Bubby’s Matryoshkas Measuring Cups, $14.99 at ModCloth.com

Remember that dream your friend had where she was stuck in an elevator on the 85th floor of the Sears Tower with a chihuahua that had Corey Feldman’s head and the song Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows played over and over again?

Remember how annoyed you were to have to listen to this person talk and talk and talk and then have that horrible, horrible song stuck in your head? Next time, give that friend the  Nightmare Snatcher Journal by Spiderbite, where she can write down all her worst night frights in the pages of a fuzzy notebook with eyes and a mouth.

You might also want to give her the name of a good psychotherapist. ‘Cause anyone who dreams about Corey Feldman is probably in a very dark place.

From $25, on Etsy.com

Uh, no. You’re a stuffed goat, you sing “The Lonely Goatherd,” and proceeds from your sale benefit Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids. And you cost $30. And. . . and. . . you’re fabulous.

Recycled LED Motherboard Menorah, $19.99 at Perpetual Kid

I’m a magazine junkie: the short articles appeal to my equally short attention span, and the variety of subject manner covered provides me with ample conversation fodder, which, coupled with a glass and a half of red wine, reduces my social awkwardness by approximately 70%.

When it comes to choosing magazine subscriptions, I try to adhere to two rules: Cheap is good. Free is better.

Over the past few years, I’ve paid $5 or less for subscriptions to great magazines such as Real Simple, Wired, and Smart Money (which I used as a gift for my father). Spoofee, one of my favorite discount-watching sites, often lists great deals on magazines at sites like ValueMags and DiscountMags. Amazon also has a magazine department and offers some great deals–today I snagged Vegetarian Times for $5. No, I’m not a vegetarian. But I like tempeh enough that, for a fiver, I’m willing to pretend.

One caveat: Because it can take some time for you or your recipient to show up on a magazine’s circulation log, you may wait upwards of two months to receive your first issue. Thankfully, Amazon has ready-to-print certificates to show your loved ones that a year of good reading is on its way.