Audra writes. . .
I need a Xmas gift idea for my sister. She is 31 years old and the mother of a two-year old. She lives on her own with the baby, loves to clean, loves to have great hair, and likes jewelry/earrings, shoes, pocketbooks, etc. Very girly-girl.

After an e-mail exchange with Audra, I learned that her sister truly does love cleaning. (When can she come over and clean this cesspool I call home, I wonder?) I suggested buying Sis this Dirt Devil Kone Cordless Hand Vacuum ($27.97 at Amazon). It’s almost like a Transformer, only instead of transforming from Shia Labeouf’s car into a warrior robot, it transforms from a stylish work of art into a handy hand vac.

Pair the Kone with some Lavender Home Perfume from L’OCCITANE ($23). Because what good is a clean home without the calming aroma of lavender and vanilla?

Dear Present Professor,
We have a tradition in our family that we give to charity as a “main” gift, then we exchange small gifts for fun on Christmas Day. In the past we’ve done ornaments, socks, magazines… we’re looking for a new idea this year. Any suggestions?

Thanks!
Casey

First, Casey, Kudos to you and your family for your generosity!

This year, why not let out your inner children for some play time? Classic toys are inexpensive and take you back to a simpler time. Besides, is there an adult equivalence to the sheer awesome, stress-relieving smooshiness of a handful of Play-Doh? To the sense of accomplishment in creating the perfect Etch-A-Sketch work of art? Remember how much fun it was to stick arms and legs and lips and eyes in a Mr. Potato Head and watch a brown glob of plastic come to life? How about a coloring book and a fresh new box of Crayola crayons? Or building your very own mini-LEGO castle? Or taking some Hot Wheels for a spin?

Well, you get the idea. Toys are fun no matter what your age, and there’s great joy to be had in playing with the classics. Just remember, it’s best to share.

Dear Present Professor, I am an Army spouse who has a few young soldiers from my husbands unit which I have adopted for the next 12 months as they have currently re-deployed. Because I have gone through 3 deployments now, I pretty much have a handle on what deployed soldiers enjoy and what not to get BUT after 3 deployments I am a little stuck on gift ideas this year. Most of them have their laptops with them so I am wondering what gift ideas you may have as far as technology goes. Because of the heat and sand, protecting their computer is a priority or even their cell phones. Yes, they have phone down there now… War has changed,huh? Any help you can give is greatly appreciated. Because they are in an area where they can only bathe every so often, bath stuff isn’t even feasible One of my adoptees is female. Thanks for your guidance.

Hi, Sarah! What a wonderful thing to do for the troops!

I love this little USB-powered mini-keyboard vacuum. It’s just $5 and uses the power from the computer itself to vacuum out the little bits of sand and dust that inevitably get into their technostuff.

I’d also suggest sending some fun ’80s DVDs for the soldiers to enjoy. A few months ago, a friend of a friend lamented that his young soldiers had never seen the likes of Goonies, Princess Bride, The Breakfast Club, Gremlins, or Ghostbusters. These are all fun flix — perfect for a little relaxation in a decidedly unrelaxed environment.

I’m dealing with multiple out of town families…. All transplanted new yorkers. Modest budget, we are in a recession. No, really, just a gift to say, hey –thinking of you. In years past I’ve done juniors cheesecakes, cannoli’s from little italy, family board games…. That sort of thing.

Beth, when I first read your request, all I could think of was pancakes. I think I probably wanted pancakes at the time and secretly thought I could sneak onto your gift list, recommend a tasty breakfast gift box, and enjoy my ill-gotten flapjacks in the comfort of my kitchen nook with no one ever knowing. Then I realized I am not the pancake equivalent of the Hamburglar, and there are easier ways to go about satisfying a breakfast craving.

And yet, I stay with my original thought: pancakes. And syrup. Maple syrup. Real maple syrup. It may not sound like much of a gift, but that’s because you’re probably used to grocery store, synthetic syrup. But the real thing is a true treat. My suggestion: Head to your local Whole Foods or other gourmet or health store. Find a bottle of 100% maple syrup you think is pretty and falls within in your price range. Then, add a package of gourmet pancake mix (AKA do NOT gift someone with a shake-it-up box of Bisquick) and perhaps a copy of  the book If You Give a Pig a Pancake. Fill a box with that pretty colored crinkly paper, and send. There. You’ve just treated your friends to an amazing wintertime breakfast. And if any of them are longing for a more New York-centric gift, perhaps remind them of the mysterious syrup smell that occasionally descends upon the city that never sleeps.

What do you get a 79 yr old Jewish mother-in-law who opens her gift and says: “Oh, thank you. I hope you saved the receipt, because I can’t imagine that I would ever use this.”?

I’m somewhat close to this subject, as my mother has an 89-year-old Jewish mother-in-law (that would be my grandmother) who often rejects the items purchased for her. Sometimes I think that not only is Grandma difficult to please, but that she finds some sort of passive/aggressive joy in her rejection of a gift. A few ideas for you:

1. Give her a nice new picture frame with a current photo of her grandchildren. If she complains she has too many pictures, say, “We wanted you to have some new photos to enjoy. They’re growing up so fast, aren’t they?” An alternate suggestion would be to buy an inexpensive digital picture frame and pre-load it with pictures–making it harder to return.

2. Ask her flat out what she would like. “I know you have very specific tastes, ma. Is there anything you’ve been eyeing this year?”

3. Does she enjoy getting her nails or hair done? A specific type of food or restaurant? If there’s a restaurant she likes very much, arrange to treat her to lunch or a manicure

Overall, though, I’d say there are some people who you can never please–and of course, these are the people whose gifts we sweat the most about. Whatever you do buy your mother-in-law, don’t make yourself nuts trying to find exactly the right item. It likely does not exist.

We don’t have “family game night” in our house, but we do have a regularly-scheduled “let’s fight about what game to play because our kids are 6 years apart and never want to play the same thing” night.

Here’s where the Green Eggs and Ham Speedy Diner game comes in. One person is the “chef,” calling out the orders of each dinner guest (the fox, the goat, and the mouse). The object of the game is to keep the fox from eating the goat and the goat from eating the mouse at any cost. Hey, it’s a fox eat goat eat mouse world out there, and kids need to learn early.

Wait, stop. That’s not this game at all. In the real game, players (”waiters”) have to choose the proper items based on food, color and shape, and deliver them to the guests. The web site describes it as “fast-paced, frenetically fun” and, um, yes, frenetic is the right word.

At first play, my 4-year-old dissolved into tears because her 10 year old brother got all the food items faster than her and she didn’t get a chance to deliver anything. But being the (cough, cough) master of conflict resolution that I am, we worked it out by letting my daughter be the chef. Even if your child can’t read, she can easily call out the guests and food items. The rest of us had a blast rushing around as the waiters.

One note: There is no specific “winner” in this game. It’s a team effort and the goal is to be as fast as possible. My 10-year-old was initially annoyed by that, but soon got over it because the game is just pretty dang fun.

The other “I Can Do That” Games look just as fun. Buy a game and add the corresponding Dr. Suess book and you’ve got a great gift. And to get you started, we’re giving away the Horton Hears a Who – You to the Rescue! game. Just leave a comment below to be entered to win.

And wait, wait! Want to earn 2 extra chances to win this game? Just “Ask the Present Professor” about your gift-giving challenge! That’s right–here’s your chance to test out the Professor’s skills in finding you the perfect gift for your child, parent, piano teacher, piano tuner, little man who lives inside your piano, etc. If you email the professor with a gift-giving question, then leave a comment here, we’ll give you two more chances to win this game! It’s a win/win situation. . . which totally makes up for the whole “no winning” in the Green Eggs and Ham game.

This contest is now ended.

I’m trying to come up with a good gift for an entire famiy.  Two parents and six kids (ages 2-11). I’ve given up on trying to get them individual gifts and now would like to come up with something they can use as a family.  Got any ideas?

Hi, Susan! Try a DVD boxed set–one with plenty of content for the whole family to enjoy for many years to come. The Disney/Pixar Ultimate Collection, on sale right now at Amazon for $109.99, includes the first eight Pixar films (Toy Story, Toy Story 2, A Bug’s Life, Monsters Inc., The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, Cars, and Ratatouille). You might also want to consider a collection of Looney Tunes cartoons, introducing the children (and quite possibly, the parents) to hilarious shorts from the early days of animation. Looney Tunes: Volume I ($24.99) is a great introduction to everyone’s favorite wascally wabbit. Additional volumes are similarly priced.  The Muppet Show DVDs are also quite funny and appropriate for everyone ($22.99 per season, 3 seasons available at Amazon). And maybe, if you’re lucky, they’ll invite you over to watch. (Don’t forget the popcorn!)

In honor of this new feature, and in honor of it being Monday, we’re having a GIVEAWAY! The giveaway is an item that I haven’t featured on any of my lists–in fact, it’s hard to find anywhere. This week’s giveaway? Two Bakugan Starter Packs. (You can read my review of Bakugan here. You can read more and watch a video here.)

To enter, browse our new Gift Lists. Then leave a comment on this post saying which item you’d most like to give or receive this holiday season.

But wait, there’s more! I just know there are folks out there in Cyberland who need gift-giving advice. And here I am, a Professor of Giftology, a goofy title I egotistically bestowed on myself, twiddling my thumbs. So this week, if you ask the Present Professor to help you find a gift for your aunt or son or imaginary friend or secret pain or your brother, you’ll get an extra entry into our giveaway. And if I answer your question, you’ll get a third entry–so make ‘em good!

Giveaway open to U.S. residents only.

Hi there! I just found your site today while I was scouring the web for a baby shower gift for my boss, who is also a good friend. She is going to have a little boy in December. We are both pretty crafty, but I just had a baby and don’t have time to make something spectacular. They are going with a surf theme in the nursery. Any thoughts? My first thought was to turn to etsy, but I don’t even know what to look for! Love your site and thanks so much!

Hi, Abi! What a great idea for a nursery–you don’t see too many surfing-themed baby rooms.

Maybe I’m a pessimist, but when I heard “surfing,” I immediately thought, “shark.” Well, to be honest, I thought, “Don Ho Memorial Tiki Bar,” but that might not be appropriate for a nursery.

So, back to shark. This big guy from Melissa and Doug is a 40-incher just waiting to prey on your affections. For now, he’ll be an interesting conversation piece for visitors. Eventually, he’ll be a giant cuddle monster. And is there anything more American than a boy and his shark? ($29.99 + free shipping on Amazon.com)

Next up, the Surfboard Growth Chart from Ecotots. Not only will the board make a gnarly addition to the room, but its two stripes are left unvarnished–perfect for marking baby’s height as he grows from little squirt to big Kahuna. Available in four colors. ($69.99 + shipping at Oompa)

And to set the mood, there’s the Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of the Beach Boys. ($13.99 and free shipping eligible, Amazon.com)

Now, because you brought up ETSY, I wanted to mention a facet of the site I didn’t talk about in my ETSY love-post. Etsy offers an “Alchemy” board. Shoppers can post requests for what they want made, along with what they’d like to pay, and artists can “bid” on the job. So if you decide that a handmade ukulele-and-pineapple mobile is the way to go, chances are you’ll find someone willing to make it.

Happy baby!

Engagement party for a couple that didn’t register as far as I can tell. They are both more creative types and have a wacky sense of humor, so the typical kitchen gadget/place setting won’t fit well.

Check out this recycled bottle lamp. Not only can they customize it with their favorite bottled beverage (Grape Nehi, anyone?) but it’s sure to be a conversation piece as well as a lesson in conservation. Jazz it up with a six pack of suds or soda. And don’t forget the bulb. Or the straws.

$39.99 + shipping at PerpetualKid.com