The classic Ker Plunk game updated to include those unabashedly adorable aliens from Toy Story. The strategy is simple; the game, addictive: Players take turns removing sticks from the “rocket ship” and try to avoid the kerplunkety action of the little plastic aliens tumbling to the floor. Whomever is responsible for the fewest fallen little green men is the winner.

Toy Story Ker Plunk Game, $18.19 at Amazon.com.

The kazoo even comes with a 34-page instruction book. Perfect for the aspiring professional Kazooer. Kazooist? Oh, who am I kidding? That’s not a real job.

Band in a Bucket Holiday Edition, $19.99 at Toys R Us.

Also shown: First Act Percussion Pack, $29.99 at Toys R Us.

Vosges chocolate was at the forefront of the ongoing (and wonderful) bacon renaissance, and they continue to innovate. This year, there’s   bacon chocolate chip mix ($12), bacon caramel toffee (also $12), a flying chocolate pig ($8), and a $62 gift set. Original Mo’s Bacon Bars, in milk and dark chocolate, are $7.50. Mini bars are available for $2.50. Mix and match 6 bars for $12.50. Stack ‘em, wrap ‘em in a ribbon, and give them to your                                                                         foodie friend. Sweet.

Since then, Savor has been one of my go-to places for gifts. My sister and mother love her unique créme fraîche–whipped soaps that will make you want to disown body wash forever– while I’m partial to the  bars. Lisa draws much of her inspiration from food, and with scents such as a chocolate peanut butter cappuccino bar, blueberry boy bait, and tamarind marmalade, you won’t know whether to wash up or chow down. No, that’s silly. You’ll know, because soap and food are two different things and you’re not stupid.

Soaps, body butter, and body mist from $4.25-$12.50 at Savor. Take advantage of flat-rate shipping and stock up for the holidays—Lisa’s soaps are great little gifts for friends, relatives, co-workers, teachers, and people who smell.

Bubby’s Matryoshkas Measuring Cups, $14.99 at ModCloth.com

The set of 24 blocks in walnut, maplele, and cherry comes boxed and ready to give. And as with every purchase made from Little Sapling Toys, a tree will be planted for every purchase made. Your day to water it is Tuesday.

Block set from Little Sapling Toys, $20+ shipping.

*Parental assembly meltdown

I know I’ve been gone for a while. . . let’s call it winter vacation at Gift U. I hope everyone had a great holiday and that you found some great gift ideas here (or elsewhere). What was everyone’s favorite gift to give/receive? I’ll start. . .

I know I’ve mentioned Savor, a popular Etsy soap shop, many, many times, but I simply love soapstress Lisa’s “Creme Fraiche”–whipped soap in a jar available in scrumptious flavors like Blood Orange Granita and Creme Brulee. Lisa’s inventory is constantly changing–you can find a calendar of her upcoming listings here. I bought several mini-sized Creme Fraiche–they are a perfect air-travel appropriate 2 ounces each–for my mother and sister for Chanukah, and they were a big hit. I definitely plan on giving more of these as gifts this year. ($4 for minis, $11 for most 8-ounce jars)

My sister really liked her copy of Here’s the Story: Surviving Marsha Brady and Finding My True Voice by Maureen McCormick ($17.13, Amazon). I’m hoping it will be followed by Pork Chopsh and Applesawce: Peter Brady Speaks Out, but I won’t hold my breath.

As for myself, I think my favorite gift (other than the Toshiba laptop I purchased with my gelt) was the giant ceramic mug I requested at the last minute. If you know someone who always seems to have a mug of tea or coffee or cocoa or Postum or hot Pepsi or whatever floats their boat, a giant mug for oversized beverages are great. (You can find many hand-thrown ones on ETSY; you can also find ceramic mugs at any grocery store, drug store, Target, etc.)

The gift that may have changed my life the most, though, is the Peek my father gave my mother.  The Peek ($79.99)  is a portable device for e-mail, and nothing else–no phone calls, no Internet, no games, no airbags, no espresso maker, no time machine. . . you get the idea. Service costs $19.99 a month. Why has this changed my life? Because now my mother can e-mail me any mundane message she wants, from “I’m heading to the butcher and I hope they have cornish game hens” to “Please e-mail your father to let him know who played Rooster in Annie; also, who played Daddy Warbucks.” (Answers: Tim Curry, and Albert Finney. DUH.)

Please, people. Don’t put this technology in the wrong hands.

In the coming weeks, follow Present Professor as we switch gears to Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day, SuperBowl Sunday (ok, some of these aren’t gift-giving holidays, unless you’re a president) as well as great ideas for the everday gift-requisite events in your life. Also look for the return of the giveaway. . . and don’t forget to Ask Present Professor if you need a great gift idea. Have a great 2009!

2. Compartmentalized container (like this one from Organized Living, but also available at most craft stores), decorated by your child and filled with pens, paper clips, rubber bands, push pins, etc. A lot of teachers will tell you that homemade gifts are the best. Then again, a lot of teachers won’t.

3. A teacher can only have so many shower gels, desk calendars and coffee mugs. And any teacher will tell you that apple-shaped gifts should be outlawed. Why not give the gift of charity? Donate to a charity you think the teacher would appreciate, or donate books or software to the classroom in the teacher’s name. You might also ask the teacher what supplies you can donate to the class, since many teachers spend a lot of money out of their own pockets for classroom supplies.

4. Give a “movie night” theme gift. Pair a theater gift card or a short-term Netflix subscription with some specialty popcorn or candy.

5. If the teacher seems to like plants, buy a small plant and attach a drawing or note from the child telling the teacher what she means to him. At the bottom, write “Thanks for helping me grow.”

Be sure to check our other Gift Lists.