Vosges chocolate was at the forefront of the ongoing (and wonderful) bacon renaissance, and they continue to innovate. This year, there’s   bacon chocolate chip mix ($12), bacon caramel toffee (also $12), a flying chocolate pig ($8), and a $62 gift set. Original Mo’s Bacon Bars, in milk and dark chocolate, are $7.50. Mini bars are available for $2.50. Mix and match 6 bars for $12.50. Stack ‘em, wrap ‘em in a ribbon, and give them to your                                                                         foodie friend. Sweet.

Do it yourself blood-typing test kit.

Just add blood.

Yes, really.

$8.99 at Think Geek.

Since then, Savor has been one of my go-to places for gifts. My sister and mother love her unique créme fraîche–whipped soaps that will make you want to disown body wash forever– while I’m partial to the  bars. Lisa draws much of her inspiration from food, and with scents such as a chocolate peanut butter cappuccino bar, blueberry boy bait, and tamarind marmalade, you won’t know whether to wash up or chow down. No, that’s silly. You’ll know, because soap and food are two different things and you’re not stupid.

Soaps, body butter, and body mist from $4.25-$12.50 at Savor. Take advantage of flat-rate shipping and stock up for the holidays—Lisa’s soaps are great little gifts for friends, relatives, co-workers, teachers, and people who smell.

Bubby’s Matryoshkas Measuring Cups, $14.99 at ModCloth.com

Remember how annoyed you were to have to listen to this person talk and talk and talk and then have that horrible, horrible song stuck in your head? Next time, give that friend the  Nightmare Snatcher Journal by Spiderbite, where she can write down all her worst night frights in the pages of a fuzzy notebook with eyes and a mouth.

You might also want to give her the name of a good psychotherapist. ‘Cause anyone who dreams about Corey Feldman is probably in a very dark place.

From $25, on Etsy.com

Prices vary based on number of cookies; $51.99 as pictured. Prices range from $7.25 (one cookie) to $88.99 (12 cookies)

I know I’ve been gone for a while. . . let’s call it winter vacation at Gift U. I hope everyone had a great holiday and that you found some great gift ideas here (or elsewhere). What was everyone’s favorite gift to give/receive? I’ll start. . .

I know I’ve mentioned Savor, a popular Etsy soap shop, many, many times, but I simply love soapstress Lisa’s “Creme Fraiche”–whipped soap in a jar available in scrumptious flavors like Blood Orange Granita and Creme Brulee. Lisa’s inventory is constantly changing–you can find a calendar of her upcoming listings here. I bought several mini-sized Creme Fraiche–they are a perfect air-travel appropriate 2 ounces each–for my mother and sister for Chanukah, and they were a big hit. I definitely plan on giving more of these as gifts this year. ($4 for minis, $11 for most 8-ounce jars)

My sister really liked her copy of Here’s the Story: Surviving Marsha Brady and Finding My True Voice by Maureen McCormick ($17.13, Amazon). I’m hoping it will be followed by Pork Chopsh and Applesawce: Peter Brady Speaks Out, but I won’t hold my breath.

As for myself, I think my favorite gift (other than the Toshiba laptop I purchased with my gelt) was the giant ceramic mug I requested at the last minute. If you know someone who always seems to have a mug of tea or coffee or cocoa or Postum or hot Pepsi or whatever floats their boat, a giant mug for oversized beverages are great. (You can find many hand-thrown ones on ETSY; you can also find ceramic mugs at any grocery store, drug store, Target, etc.)

The gift that may have changed my life the most, though, is the Peek my father gave my mother.  The Peek ($79.99)  is a portable device for e-mail, and nothing else–no phone calls, no Internet, no games, no airbags, no espresso maker, no time machine. . . you get the idea. Service costs $19.99 a month. Why has this changed my life? Because now my mother can e-mail me any mundane message she wants, from “I’m heading to the butcher and I hope they have cornish game hens” to “Please e-mail your father to let him know who played Rooster in Annie; also, who played Daddy Warbucks.” (Answers: Tim Curry, and Albert Finney. DUH.)

Please, people. Don’t put this technology in the wrong hands.

In the coming weeks, follow Present Professor as we switch gears to Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day, SuperBowl Sunday (ok, some of these aren’t gift-giving holidays, unless you’re a president) as well as great ideas for the everday gift-requisite events in your life. Also look for the return of the giveaway. . . and don’t forget to Ask Present Professor if you need a great gift idea. Have a great 2009!

This is definitely something other people you know can use. Whether for one clean sweep or 6 months of weekly service (and anything in between), giving the gift of housekeeping is sure to be appreciated by busy mothers, stressed-out couples, and all-around slobs. Contact local cleaners beforehand to get an idea of what it will cost–many even offer gift certificates. Then, write a card informing the recipient of their gift. Their eyes will be as sparkling as their hardwood floors.

Audra writes. . .
I need a Xmas gift idea for my sister. She is 31 years old and the mother of a two-year old. She lives on her own with the baby, loves to clean, loves to have great hair, and likes jewelry/earrings, shoes, pocketbooks, etc. Very girly-girl.

After an e-mail exchange with Audra, I learned that her sister truly does love cleaning. (When can she come over and clean this cesspool I call home, I wonder?) I suggested buying Sis this Dirt Devil Kone Cordless Hand Vacuum ($27.97 at Amazon). It’s almost like a Transformer, only instead of transforming from Shia Labeouf’s car into a warrior robot, it transforms from a stylish work of art into a handy hand vac.

Pair the Kone with some Lavender Home Perfume from L’OCCITANE ($23). Because what good is a clean home without the calming aroma of lavender and vanilla?